Hi, my name is Rosabel and I turned 30 this year. I’ve come to a point in my life where I’m reflecting on my 20s and seeing how much I have accomplished or how much has changed so far.
So, to put things in perspective, I’m already 30 and I have:
- Not moved out yet. I’m still living with my mum and sister.
- Am not married yet. Still haven’t found the right person.
- Since I have not moved out yet, I don’t see the need to get my own car. (Besides, there’s good public transportation near my place.)
- I’m nowhere near starting a family
- I’m not established in my career. (I’ve been hopping from one job to another. I still haven’t quite found the right fit and what’s my true passion but I’m getting there.)
So moving out or getting your own place to stay, getting married and having kids, having your own car and a stable career – These are all milestones you are expected to achieve in your 20s or at least by the time you’re 30. As quoted in New York Times, sociologists traditionally define the “transition to adulthood” as marked by five milestones. These are completing school, leaving home, becoming financially independent, marrying and having a child. However, this is not the case for young adults of today. There are many young adults like me who are still living with their parents either because they don’t have the financial means to live independently or they just don’t see the need to move out just yet.
Another trend among young adults today is that many of them are getting married later, and hence having kids later. During the time of the baby boomers in the early 1970s, the median age at first marriage was 21 for women and 23 for men. However, in 2009, it had climbed to 26 for women and 28 for men. So as we can see, people are getting married at a later age through the years.
When it comes to their careers, many young adults are finding it hard to stick to one job. We keep changing jobs all the time. As quoted in the New York Times, those in their 20s go through an average of seven jobs, which is more job changes when compared to when they’re in their 30s or 40s. The consensus these days is that we, the children of the younger generation, are taking a longer time to grow up just because we are not achieving the milestones that mark adulthood.
These milestones typically include getting a new house, getting married, getting a car, having children and having a stable career. At 30, I’ve achieved none of these milestones. So does that mean that I should feel like a failure?
The answer is a resounding “No” and here’s why. Let me dissect this into two parts.
First and foremost, you need to ask yourself are these milestones what you really want in life? Is it your dream to get your own house or to get married and have kids? Or are these just what you were programmed to want by society. If you think about it, not everyone is interested in marriage. Some of us just prefer to stay single and independent. And that’s okay. How about getting your own house? Some people just don’t see a need for it yet probably because they haven’t married and started a family yet. So are these goals that society dictates us to have truly our goals? Because some of us just don’t aspire to achieve these goals and it’s okay. You can’t brand yourself as a failure just because you haven’t achieved society’s expectations.
Another reason why you’re not a failure and why you shouldn’t fret too much about it is because you’re still 30. That means you still have a whole life ahead of you. It’s not the end of the world! You still have time to work on achieving what you haven’t achieved. Whatever you missed out or didn’t do in your 20s, you now have a chance to accomplish in your 30s. And the same goes for people who feel that they have wasted their 30s. It’s okay. Just work towards your dream career in your 40s. Or if love is what you’re looking for, go find it! You still have time and you’re still here. As long as you’re alive on this earth, you can always give yourself a second chance. And that’s exactly what I intend to do now that I’m 30.
After all, we have proof that dreams can be achieved at any point in your life. Take Colonel Sanders, for instance, the founder of Kentucky Fried Chicken (KFC). He only started his fried chicken business in his 40s and it also took time for KFC to become a hit. But still, he persevered and continued working towards his goal. Now, KFC is a sensation all over the world! So you see, 30 can be your new 20. You can start over and make a better life for yourself. It’s never too late! Just have faith and keep going. You will get to where you want to be soon, if you just continue trying. Cheers!
Random Rose is a content writer under Headliner by Newswav, a programme where content creators get to tell their unique stories through articles and at the same time monetize their content within the Newswav app.
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